Strange Union
by DeeGee
Summary: **COMPLETE!** On the day of her wedding, Hermione Granger remembers back to the strange course of events that led her to the altar. S/Hr
1. Prologue

STRANGE UNION

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  I only have JK Rowling's wonderful characters out on loan and am currently bending them to my will.  I promise to return them when I'm done at which time they'll go back on display. 

PROLOGUE

The torrential rain poured down in blinding sheets blanketing the small rural church, interrupted only by the occasional slice of white lightening and the rumble of thunder.   Warm and dry inside the saturated building, Hermione Granger sat in the bride's room, elbows resting on the vanity, her cheeks in her hands, attempting to bring a sense of reality to the day.  They had wanted to have a small civil ceremony but her parents had insisted on a traditional muggle wedding in her childhood church in front of all her friends and family.  Worry played at her mind as she pondered the thought of her unknowing relatives mixing with the finest of the wizarding world. Her thoughts landed quickly on Fred and George Weasley.  When she received their RSVP to attend she had been happy yet apprehensive.  As much as she loved the Mischief Makers Extraordinaire, they couldn't be trusted to behave themselves. She felt like a moving target.  She would have to rely on Molly and Arthur to keep them in control.   

"Why so glum dear?" asked Mary Granger

The look in Hermione's eyes could have shot daggers at her.  "Do you need to ask, mum?  It's my wedding day and it's pouring down rain, dad hates my husband-to-be, and worst of all, Fred and George Weasly will be in attendance.  God only knows what plans they have."  She bit her lip in an attempt to stop the quiver.

"Oh well, dear.  What is it they always say about rain on a wedding day?  Let's see, um, oh yes, I remember.  It means the marriage will end in divorce" A horrified hand shot up to Mary Granger's mouth.  It had slipped out before she could stifle it.  "Well never mind then, it's just an old wives tale, honey."  She smoothed Hermione's hair down in a calming manner.

"I know, mum.  It's all right.  That thought should make dad ecstatic." She smiled wryly. "I'm not worried about my marriage lasting.  I love Severus with all my heart." 

"I know dear.  It's a shame that dad hasn't quite come to accept him yet.  He should look at it from the angle of he's not losing a daughter, but gaining a patient." Mary Granger grinned at her own joke.

Hermione's mind flashed briefly on an image of Severus in Dr. Granger's dentist chair, bound hand and foot, while her father, smiling maniacally, drilled mercilessly into his teeth.   She was sure there was no Novocain in that fantasy. "Uh, that's not gonna happen, mum." 

A commotion from the main hall caused them both to jump.  Loud voices, one deep and menacing, the other totally inebriated wafted through the closed door.  

"Oh no, that drunken voice sounds like your father, dear. "

And that would mean that the deep and menacing voice belongs to…..SEVERUS!  Her father and her fiancé alone together!  Horror slowly dawned on Hermione and she jumped up and ran out to the hall.  A highly intoxicated Patrick Granger had ahold of Hermione's wand and was pointing it, with inexperience, at her soon to be husband.  "You so..son of a bish (hiccup).  I don't trusht you.  If you harm one hair (hiccup) on my baby girlsh head."  With every wave of the wand, glass was shattering and wallboard was blasting in all directions.  Severus was doing his best to duck out of the way.  He held up his outstretched hands to indicate that he didn't want any trouble and tried to reason, Severus Snape style, with his drunken father-in-law. 

"Dr. Granger, put the wand down now!  I love your daughter.  Why would I harm her, you stupid fool?"

"DAD! Where did you get my wand?"

He staggered around and regarded his daughter "Oh, hello shweetie, shhhome nish tall red headed gentle (hiccup) gentlemen."  

_"_Fred and George Weasley_"_ muttered Hermione "I'll deal with them later"

"Dad! You put it down right now!  You know that we're in the non-magical world and wands and magic are absolutely not allowed.  A lot of our relatives aren't even aware that I'm a witch.  Besides, my wand isn't suited for you and you don't know what you're doing with it.  You could hurt someone."

"Thas jus wha' (hiccup) I'm aiming to do, sweetie." and he gave a quick wrist flick.  The blast grazed by Severus' thigh.

Hermione rushed up to her father and grabbed her wand from him.  "Dad, that came too damn close to ruining my wedding night and your chances of ever having any grandchildren.  Now you go with mum and try to sober up."  

Mary Granger leaned over to whisper to her daughter "He only had 3 drinks but he took a valium to calm his nerves and I'm afraid the effect of the alcohol was intensified tenfold." 

"Well who was stupid enough to give him alcohol!" asked Hermione

"Fred and George Weasley" they muttered quietly in unison. 

She threw an apologetic look at Hermione and roughly hauled her husband out the door. 

Hermione smiled at her mother and pleadingly mouthed the words "Keep him away from Severus."

"Are you OK?" Hermione asked as she wandered over to him  

He grinned at her and she knew there was no permanent damage.  She snaked her arms around his waist and nuzzled her head into his chest.  "I'm sorry you're forced into this farce of a wedding ceremony.  I know it makes you uncomfortable."

"Well, I must admit I'm amused by the thought of your father boring holes in me as he _walkshh hish (hiccup) 'baby girl'_ down the aisle!" he mocked her father slightly.  Hermione didn't seem quite as amused.  His black pool eyes stared into her large cinnamon ones.  He leaned in and suggestively whispered "I'm thinking ahead to the wedding night.  That's what keeps it all in perspective for me."  

"Keep that up, sir and I'll throw you on the floor, and take you here and now, in front of all our friends and relatives!" having spoken her piece she threw him the slightest hint of a seductive smile.  

"Won't the rector heartily enjoy that." he smirked, "Besides, you're the one who insisted we spend the last 2 weeks apart.  How can anyone blame me now if I can't keep my hands off of you."  Teasingly he brought his lips as close as possible without contact and as she closed her eyes and leaned into the anticipated kiss, he tore them away just as quickly.

Her eyes snapped open in confusion and he flashed her his trademark smirk.  Tossing her head in annoyance she gently pushed him away, threw a quick knowing wink in his direction and ordered him to go get ready for the ceremony.  

She watched him until he was out of sight.  With a big sigh, she turned and was heading back to her room when a blur of red hair and freckles shot past her.  

"WEASLEY, IF I CATCH YOU YOUR ASS IS GRASS!  AND THAT GOES FOR YOUR BROTHER TOO." She glared at him as he scampered out of sight.  "This just keeps getting better and better."  She sunk wearily into the divan set off to the side. The room was beautiful and very comforting.  She had spent many a day in here playing bridesmaid to her friends wondering if she would ever be a bride herself.  "_Well, here I am and I can't blame anyone for this but myself". _

Hermione stared at the makeup and nail polish containers scattered over the vanity.  Her blank eyes flitted to the mirror.  Lavendar had promised to come early and apply her makeup for her but it was one hour away from the ceremony and still no Lavendar.  Indicative of how the day had been going.  Hermione knew she should be more upset but her heart wasn't quite into it right now.  Ceremonies and makeup were not exactly her forte.  This was strictly a show to please her parents. The date was the only thing she felt sentimental about.   It was two years ago to this very day that she and Severus had….had what?  She didn't know exactly what to call their first union.  It wasn't a date.  It wasn't a recognition of love.  It wasn't even a mutual attraction, at least not in the beginning.  And you certainly couldn't have called them friends.  Perhaps it was a meeting of the minds.  More like a war of the minds.

A/N:  Well, this is my first S/Hr fic.  Review, review, review, please.  But please be gentle with me.  I'm feeling a bit angsty.


	2. The Outbreak of Hostilities

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  I only have JK Rowling's wonderful characters out on loan and am currently bending them to my will.  I promise to return them when I'm done at which time they'll go back on display.

CHAPTER 1 – The Outbreak of Hostilities

Some things would never change.  The Great Hall was a wonderment.  Today, the ceiling was dark and threatening.  An occasional spoke of lightening streaked across the top and a crack of thunder resounded, much to the discomfort of more than a few jumpy students.   She thought about her first view of the Great Hall all those years ago when she was a scared eleven year old girl, and could almost hear herself saying "Its enchanted to look like the night sky.  I read it in Hogwarts a History."  Her eyes settled on the head table where the Headmaster was enjoying his breakfast.  To his right was Minerva McGonagall, her much loved mentor, and to his left the sullen master of potions himself, Severus Snape. 

"_Yes Hermione, some things never change, still dark and brooding.  But now I have nothing to be afraid of".  _She smiled at that thought and whispered "Oh but be afraid, Miss Granger.  Be very afraid."

"Headmaster, thank you for asking me back.  I'm thrilled to be teaching at my ol' alma mater." Hermione gave him a shy smile.

"Professor Granger, welcome.  You are a delight that compares to none other.  What a perfect match for my faculty.  Don't you think so Severus?" his blue eyes twinkled with warmth and merriment.

"If you say so, Albus.  Professor Granger, welcome to the staff." It can't be said that it was a warm welcome.  Or that he seemed interested in acknowledging her in the least bit.  In fact, his tone was rather bored and his eyes continued to gaze out at the students.  

_"He could at least look me in the eyes while he belittles me"._  With satire awash in every word, she replied "What a compliment coming from you Professor Snape, I feel most welcome."  He briefly glanced up at her with a newfound respect.  

Albus stifled a laugh with one hand.  He appeared surprised and almost pleased.  "It seems that you've become quite articulate, my dear.  A most pleasant surprise."  Ah, yes, this was going to be an interesting semester. 

"Come sit down, Hermione.  Tell me, have you settled into your room yet?  I knew you'd be right at home in Gryffindor tower.  Just let Minerva know if there's something you need."

"Thank you headmaster.  Everything is perfect.  Just the way I always imagined it would be.  I just need to unpack and do a little decorating here and there." she helped herself to a plate of eggs and a bit of toast.  "Professor Snape, could you please pass the coffee pot?….Professor?… Professor?…Hello, earth to Professor Snape!" she snapped her fingers at him and glared.  "I can see that the five years since I've left here have done nothing for your manners, Professor.  Scanning the room for hapless victims, are we?"

"I wouldn't call her articulate, Albus, I'd call her a shrew." He excused himself and stalked out of the hall.   

Minerva grinned and smothered a laugh.  "My dear, it is wonderful to have you back.  It will be a relief to have an extra hand with the students in Gryffindor Tower.  I'm afraid this lot is trouble waiting to happen."

"Worse then we were?" 

"Yes, I'm afraid so.  Even worse then Messrs. Fred and George Weasley."

Hermione gasped in mock horror then shot her a smile.

Gulping down the last of her coffee, she turned to leave.  "If you all will excuse me, my room awaits me.  I've got some heavy transfiguring to do."

Minerva beamed at her with pride.  

                                                                                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Where do I start?" she asked herself out loud.  She stood in the middle of her bedroom with her wand poised and ready.  Aiming at a dust ball in the corner she transformed it into a gold plant stand with a healthy Aloe plant sitting in the middle.   (swish) A plain curtain hanging in the window changed into a dusty rose swag and jabot.  Several more waves of the wand and Hermione ended up with a wall of cherry wood book shelves, a matching cherry wood night stand and dresser, and a grandfather clock tucked in the corner.  

"OK" she said out loud to the empty room "looks good.  Last step – unpack my books."

When the clock chimed 9:00pm Hermione looked up in bewilderment.  When did it get to be so late?  One glance at the now-filled bookshelves told her exactly how the time had passed.  A rumble in her stomach made her realize that she had missed dinner.  She put down her books and decided on a quick trip to the kitchen to see if she could bribe one of the house elves into whipping her up a snack.  

She slipped out the portal past the fat lady and made her way down the darkened corridors.  It was quiet, dim, and so enjoyable. This was relaxing to her.  Not as it had been when they were students.  That had always made her tense.  Then she had known she was breaking rules.  But now, as a member of the faculty, the solitary halls helped to reduce her tension.

In the end, she almost walked past the kitchen, stumbling at the last minute as she swiftly tried to stop herself.  "Let's see, how do you gain entry?" her brain scrambled furiously until finally she remembered that it had something to do with the portrait of the fruit bowl that hung on the door.  "You have to tickle a piece of fruit but which piece?"  She thought for a moment then said "I've got it!  It's the green pear and you tickle it until…" her fingers worked as she mumbled and the door finally swung open.  

She had barely stepped into the kitchen before she heard a squeal.  "Miss Hermione, is it you?  Is it really you?" 

Hermione jumped a foot in the air and silenced a shriek.  She whirled around, her heart beating wildly from the shock.  "Oh, Perry, how are you?" she asked observing the house elf, who was wrapped in an embroidered pillowcase and wearing mittens.  

"Perry is fine Miss.  Perry is happy to see you back at Hogwarts."

"Listen Perry, I got wrapped up in my unpacking and missed dinner.  Any way you could bend the rules a little and get me a snack?"

Perry was off in a flash and came back with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, an apple, and a cup of coffee.  

"Perry, you're a doll.  Thanks so much!"  She bent down and placed a kiss on Perry's cheek before leaving.  

Hermione threw a backwards glance as she passed the library.  She turned around and stood in front of the door pondering whether to go in or not.  "_Damn it,what am I afraid of?   I'm not a student any more_.  _ I'll just check out the restricted section – for a bit of light reading"._ She grinned at the thought of Harry and Ron's disgusted faces when she had said that to them all those years ago.

Madam Pince had left an hour ago.  The lights were low and there was a small fire burning in the fireplace.   She looked around the desserted room and found her eyes focusing on a leather chair by the fire with a book laying on the seat.  She padded over to pick up the book, and curled up in the chair.  "_Hmmmm,  A History of Alchemy Through the Ages.  Excellent book"_.  

She munched silently on her sandwich and flipped through the pages.  

"You're sitting in my chair and you're reading my book." 

Hermione did shriek this time.  She looked up rapidly and saw Professor Snape standing by the fire staring at her.   After a moment of recovery, she smiled haughtily, stood up, and quickly circled the chair, saying "I don't see a name tag on this chair, Professor.  Perhaps you have it confused with that one" pointing to a small stool a few feet away.

"So, the shrew is flippant.  If you were wondering why the chair was so warm when you sat down Professor Granger, it's because I had gotten up from it moments ago to check a fact in another book. Furthermore, I suggest you open the front of the book you're holding and you'll see a name tag on it.  The book belongs to me."

She glanced briefly down at the book clutched in her hand.  A mischeivious grin spread across her face and she whispered "Wingardium Leviosa" and pointed the wand from the book to Snape. 

_Slam,_ the book flew quickly across the room and crashed into Snape's head before he had a chance to duck.    

"You're right, Professor, it is your book.  There you go." Hermione smiled wickedly.  She really did enjoy that.

He was mildly astonished.  She had actually had the audacity to throw a book at him.   But what to do, he could no longer take house points or give her detention.  An evil thought rushed into his mind.  Ah yes, a dose of her own medicine.  His lips curled into a wicked grin as he pointed his wand at the coffee table and said "Accio apple".  

_Thwack,_ the apple impacted the back of Hermione's head before flying straight into Snape's outstretched hand.  Hermione gave a startled "Ouch"

"Oh, I'm sorry Professor Granger. I'm a bit hungry and you didn't appear to be eating this.  I do so apologize for that nasty accident with the back of your head"  

So he wanted to play the game.  She rubbed her throbbing head and picked bits of apple out of her hair.  With her best smile she raised her wand and murmured "Why no problem at all.  Accio throw rug" which leaped into the air ejecting the Potion teacher's legs off in the process.  He landed on the floor with a thud and sat in a stunned heap.  

Hermione said only one word - "Oops" and gave a smile that reeked of sarcasm. 

He blew a resigned sigh and held up his outstretched hands in an admission of defeat.   "I'm not into your childish game Professor Granger.  I give up." He rose to his feet and fell back to the ground grimacing in pain.  "I hope you're happy, it appears that you've managed to break my ankle." he hissed, "Thank you so very much.  Now could you manage to help me to the infirmary?"

Hermione's triumphant smile turned to worry and she jumped up and raced over to him.  As her foot hit the throw rug Snape pointed his wand and murmured "Accio throw rug".  Hermione flipped into the air, slid forward and landed at his feet in a graceless heap with an astonished grimace.   He smirked, stood up and snarled "You're a hopeless Gryffindor.  Snape – 1, Granger - 0" then turned quickly on his heel and left a flummoxed Hermione gaping after him. 

                                                                                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

She lay in bed tossing and turning well into the night.  Every time she thought about him, embarrassment washed over her. "He bested me.  He outdid me at my own game.   I have to get even, but how? Think, Hermione, what do I do?"  Slowly, insight dawned on her face and she began to make her combat plans.

Down in the dungeons Snape was feeling rather cocky.  He was too pumped up to sleep.  His thoughts kept falling on the shrew and her flabbergasted look when he pulled a fast one on her. Yes it really was Snape – 1, Granger - zip.  But if he had any idea what Hermione was about to pull he would have been busy preparing for battle rather than gloating over his victory.


	3. Battle Maneuvers

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  I only have JK Rowling's wonderful characters out on loan and am currently bending them to my will.  I promise to return them when I'm done at which time they'll go back on display

CHAPTER 2 – Battle Maneuvers

The next morning Hermione walked to the gates of Hogwarts and apparated to Godric's Hollow.  She knocked on Harry's door hoping that he was home.  The door swung open and she flashed him a grin.  Harry pulled her inside and gave her a big hug.   "Hermione!  Great to see you.  Come on in and tell me what's up.  First, what do you want to drink?"

"I'll take a glass of white wine."

Harry was back in a flash with a bottle and 2 glasses.  "So, tell me all about it."

Hermione looked at the grin on Harry's face and suddenly she was babbling about everything that happened yesterday from breakfast through the confrontation in the library.  When she finished Harry's eyes were wide with amazement and his mouth was hooked in a huge grin.  "You really did that to Snape?" he asked with admiration.

"Yes I did and he deserved it.  That's really why I'm here, Harry.  I need your help to get my revenge."

"I don't even need to know the plan.  You know I'll help."

"Well first I'm going to need to borrow your invisibility cloak." and the two former Gryffindor's put their head's together, sipped their wine, and plotted their strategy.

That night, back at Hogwarts, Hermione donned Harry's invisibility cloak and waited at the door to the potions classroom.  She was pretty sure he was in there.  Surely Snape must have given someone detention.  After all, during her tenure at Hogwarts, he had always made sure there was at least one detention per night for the entire semester, mostly for the Gryffindors.  Sure enough, the door opened at 10:00pm and the dejected victim walked out of the classroom.  "_Oh, poor Daniel.  I wonder what he did to deserve this detention. Or didn't do"  _

Now all that was left was to wait for Snape to leave the classroom and head to his room.  It took forever.  "_The bastard must know I'm waiting for him and he's dragging this out."_  And just when she thought she couldn't wait any longer he opened the door and walked out.  She crept along after him trying hard not to trip or make a sound.  Thankfully his room wasn't far from the class.  When he stopped to utter the passwords for the wards around the door, Hermione memorized them for possible use in later battle strategies.  Stealthily, she slipped in after him and headed for his bathroom.  She had to move quickly to avoid capture.  Five minutes later the mission was accomplished.  She had left the bathroom and, once again, stood silently in his bedroom waiting for him to make the next move.  She didn't have to wait long before he rubbed his neck and entered the bathroom to take a shower.  She silently praised the Gods that he took his showers at night and shuddered at the thought of having to wait in his room until morning, under the invisibility cloak, while she waited for him to take a shower. 

Snape turned on the tap and stepped into the tub.  The hot water ran over his aching muscles and soothed him.  Another typical day of dealing with idiot students.  The only delight in his day, as usual, was deducting house points and handing out detention, oh, and the encounter with the shrew last night in the library.  That made him smile.  The heady feel of victory.  Yes, it had been wonderful.   Especially the dazed look on her face as he strutted out the door. Rinsing off the last bit of soap, he turned off the water, and grabbed for his bath towel.   "Oof", was the only word that came out of his mouth as he felt a familiar tug on his navel and the walls of his room disappeared around him.  In a split second, a wet, naked, shivering Professor Snape stood outside the gates of Hogwarts, his mind lost in confusion. 

When Hermione heard the surprised sound from behind the closed door and then total silence she knew her plan had succeeded.  Now all that remained was waiting for the enemy to return so she could gloat.  Gleefully she pulled the invisibility cloak off and left his room.  She stationed herself outside the door wondering how long it would take him to walk back, factoring in that he would have to do it while remaining out of sight.  That is, unless he wanted to provide a show for the females of the castle.  Creating a portkey out of his bath towel had been a stroke of genius.  A most definite stroke of genius!

Meanwhile, outside the gates to Hogwarts, Snape finally began to understand what had occurred.  It must have been **her** again.  This had to be her attempt at vengeance.  He couldn't prove it but he knew with every fiber of his being.  How did she manage to slip into his quarters?  The shiver that raked through his body reminded him that revenge is a dish best served cold.  And he would have his revenge but he would bide his time.  Thankful for the moonless night, he pulled the crude portkey around his waist and headed back to the castle, careful to avoid anyone he might come across.  And the wheels in his head had already begun turning and plotting.  He had to duck in the bushes 3 times to avoid being spotted.  One of those times he found himself in the very same rose bushes he regularly blasted apart while looking for unsuspecting lovers.  They hid him quite well and he now understood why they were so popular with the amorous students.  When he finally made it inside the castle he was grateful for the deserted dark halls.  "Down the stairs.  Just a little bit further.  You can do this Severus.  Almost there."

"Good evening, Professor Snape." he nearly jumped out of both his skin and his makeshift portkey, having to grab at the towel to keep it from slipping.  Hermione Granger stood before him with a triumphant look on her face.  "I believe that's Snape – 1, Granger – 1. Oh, by the way, you're dripping water all over the floor.  Did you know that?" And with that, she giggled and walked off leaving him gaping like a fish.  

Hermione slept well that night.  Snape did not.  

Saturday was the best day of the week.  It meant extra sleep, no classes, and being able to do whatever she wanted to.  The weather hinted towards the impending Autumn.  That was her favorite time of year.  The air always smelled so clean and crisp in the Fall and the leaves turned such a gorgeous color.  Today she was celebrating her victory.  It had been a wonderful day.  She allowed herself to sleep to the late hour of 9:00am.  Then followed that with a long hot bath, a walk around the lake, a visit with Hagrid, and finally, back to Hogwarts for dinner.  Hermione had the delicious feeling that all was right with the world. 

                                                                        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The door to the kitchen swung open and he stepped inside.  "Hello, Perry"

"Hello Professor." Perry answered hesitantly

"I'd like to tell you a little secret, Perry." The door to the kitchen swung closed.

                                                                        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Hermione entered the Great Hall for dinner, still reeling from her fantastic day.  She nodded to the Gryffindors and wandered up to the high table.  

"Good evening everyone.  Headmaster (nod), Minerva (nod), Professor Snape (nod, a smirk, and a slightly longer stare)."

Albus and Minerva greeted her back.  Snape nodded and speaking like the proverbial cat who had swallowed the canary said "And a very good evening to you, Professor Granger."  

This had the immediate effect of unnerving Hermione.   He was up to something.  She just knew it.  Gads, she was totally unprepared.  Why hadn't it occurred to her that he might try to get revenge.  Of course he would – after all, she had.  Suddenly her wonderful day had turned sour.  Sweat broke out on her palms and her smile turned into a frown.  And all the while he sat back and watched her and observed her growing tension with blissful delight.

Hermione jumped when Professor Flitwick put his hand on her arm to ask a question.   Snape leaned back and grinned.  Her hand shook while she buttered her roll.  He casually crossed his arms and chuckled.  She stood to reach for the salad dressing and nearly fell off her chair when she sat back down.  Snape gave a soft laugh.  The next course arrived on the table and just as Hermione went to help herself to a big portion of chicken, Perry came rushing out of the kitchen carrying a platter.

"No Miss Hermione, don't eat the chicken.  Someone told Perry that liver was your favorite dish and that you hasn't had it in a long time.  Perry fixed Miss a nice plate of liver, rare like you like it."

Hermione looked down at the little house elf, then to the plate he set before her, then back to the expectant face of Perry.   She slowly looked over to Professor Snape.  He just gave a slight nod and wide smile to confirm her fears.  He knew she wouldn't hurt Perry's feelings, an aftereffect of being a Gryffindor.  

"Uh, Perry." she started

"Yes Miss?" Perry's face started to fall. "Bad Perry, bad, bad, bad.  Perry must slam his head in the oven door.  Perry didn't fix the liver the way Miss Hermione likes it."

Deep sigh "No, Perry.  I was just going to, uh, thank you." 

"Perry forgets the best part, Miss.  Perry has permission to watch Miss Hermione eat tonight.  To see her enjoy it." he smiled proudly.  Well she could forget trashing it as soon as Perry was out of sight.  Snape had thought of everything.  She frowned fiercely at him and turned back to Perry.

_"I will get him for this, I will get him for this"_.  She slowly picked up her fork and knife and cut into the liver.  The knife sliced across with difficulty.  The brownish red meat tugged at the blade and clung in clumps while blood red juice dripped out with each cut.  Hermione gagged softly with every bite.  She hated liver.  How did he know that.  More importantly, how was she going to make it through this repulsive hunk of meat?  

Snape sat watching her eat.  Oh this was too good.  The gagging noises were priceless.  Was it his imagination or was she turning a slight tinge of green.  Suddenly, Hermione threw down her fork and bolted out of the Great Hall.  He couldn't resist, he had to follow.  Just outside the doors she lost control and retched all over the floor.  And he stood behind her, with satisfaction, and said "Snape – 2, Granger – 1.  Good evening Professor Granger."

**A/N:**  I just want to thank everyone who reviewed my story!!  You guys were wonderful to me!  I appreciate it more than you know.  Now I'm all choked up *sniff*. 

To rhitmcshanm – You're right, Snape is a little OOC in places but my feeling is that this angle has never been explored before so no one is sure how he'd react in this type of situation.  I'm really enjoying writing this from a humorous approach but it's very hard to write humor for such a serious, dark, sarcastic character and still have him stay in context.   Just to let you know, they'll both become a little less juvenile in later chapters.  Thanks for your comments!  

I'd also like to thank Gina for giving me her support and encouragement.  Oh yeah, and for being a nitpicker and a test marketing victim.  


	4. Victory Day

Disclaimer:  Same as previous chapters

CHAPTER 3 – Victory Day

"_Pssst_, Albus."

The Headmaster turned around looking for the voice that had called his name.  

"Albus, over here."

He turned to the dark corner just outside the doors to the Great Hall. "Severus, is that you?"

"Yes Albus.  Where is she?"

"Where is who?"

"The shrew, Albus, **where is the shrew**?  I know she's plotting something.  Have you seen her this morning?"

Albus laughed this time.  "Oh honestly Severus, you talk about her as if she's the incarnate of evil."

"Yes, and that's wrong BECAUSE……?"

"Severus, she's a harmless woman.  Why, Professor Granger wouldn't hurt a fly."

"That's easy for you to say.  She didn't hit you with a book, or pull a rug out from under you, and she especially didn't turn your bath towel into a portkey and transport you outside the castle gates.  I swear to you Albus that if Voldemort hadn't been destroyed I would almost rather appear before him, crawl on my belly, and kiss the hem of his robe rather than face **her** again."

Dumbledore threw his head back and laughed out loud until he cried.  "That's it Severus, I'm tired of these childish games.  You two are turning this castle into a war zone. I want you to make peace or at least come up with some type of cease fire.  It's time you tamed your shrew.  Now let's have some breakfast, shall we."

"That would suit me fine, but you do realize that it's the shrew's turn, don't you?"

Hermione rolled over in bed and groaned.  Memories of barfing up the contents of her stomach assaulted her.  That was a low blow.  After all, all she had done was transport him…nude…and wet…and shivering…out of his private bathroom…and over to the gates of Hogwarts.  "_I guess that was pretty nasty_."  She had to grin in spite of herself.  But as nasty as that was, it didn't excuse him from putting her in the awkward position of being forced to eat raw bloody liver.  Ugh, liver, if there was one food she couldn't stand it was that.  She immediately began sweeping her mind for ideas. "_An eye for an eye, Professor_".  __

Being in the revenge business was exhausting.  He was much more adept at this game.  She honestly didn't know if she had it in her to keep up with him.  But once again she found the ball in her court and her mind drawing a blank.  Thus, the trip into Hogsmeade to clear her head and help her formulate a plan.  The Three Broomsticks was crawling with students.  She looked longingly through the fogged window at the wooden tables covered with butterbeer bottles and listened to the pleasant chatter.  Best to avoid that if she was going to make any headway.  Eventually Hermione found herself inside the bookstore wandering up and down the aisles, hoping that an idea would jump out at her.  It came in the form of Severus Snape standing in the literature aisle reading a book.  She had come around the corner and froze in her tracks.  Before she had a chance to run he looked up and their eyes locked.  Two sets of very stunned eyes nervously regarded each other.  

He recovered first and asked in a horribly taunting tone "Feeling better, Professor Granger?"

She looked down at the book clutched in his hand and fingered her wand.  For a long second she thought about repeating the library incident but, in the end, all Hermione did was scowl and stalk off.  She heard his soft laughter behind her and that was all the fuel she needed.  She thought back to the book he had been reading, Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew.  Her eyes grew wide and suddenly a light bulb lit over Hermione's head.  Her plan of attack was now crystal clear.  A quick stop at the Three Broomsticks to enlist the help of Daniel Walsh, a seventh year Gryffindor, and she rushed back to Hogwarts to prepare.  It would involve the invisibility cloak again and breaking into his office to steal potion ingredients. 

                                                                        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Snape watched with fascination as she stomped off, nose held high in the air.  He would never admit it to her but he had felt a slight bit of remorse last night as he had watched her vomit outside the great hall.  And the remorse had brought on a momentary desire to hold her hair out of the way and rub her back for comfort.  But the desire had been fleeting and was gone just as quickly as it had come.  Life certainly had been anything but dull since she had arrived at Hogwarts.  As a matter of fact, he was beginning to enjoy their little game.  Her jabs at him had been most worthy of any Slytherin.  She was making him feel alive and aware again, something he hadn't felt in quite some time.  The fact that she was pleasant on the eyes with a sharp mind and wit to match helped matters greatly.  Maybe Albus was right.  Maybe they should draw up a cease fire.  But could they actually be friends if they gave each other the chance.  He supposed he was willing to try but she would have to make the first move.  He sighed deeply and returned to his book.

Later that evening Hermione executed phase one of her plan.  Things hadn't worked quite as smoothly as the first time.  She had almost been caught.  As a diversion she set off a filibuster firework in the hall outside his classroom.  When he ran out to investigate she swept past him a bit too close and the cloak brushed his arm.  He reached out, wildly grasping the air like a blind man.  She narrowly escaped into the storeroom.  Her heart was beating a cadence so loud that she was sure he would hear.  Silently she gathered all the ingredients and tucked them under the cloak.  On her way out she turned to stare at him.  He was clearly on edge but was it the events of the last few minutes or the anticipation of Hermione's impending strike?  Either way she felt a strong sense of satisfaction.  "_I'll get you my little pretty."_

                                                                        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"OK Daniel, lets go over the plan one more time." they were sitting at the table in the Gryffindor common room.

"Professor Granger, what kind of potion are you making and why won't you tell me the whole plan?" begged Daniel

"Because my potion is against school rules for students and because your part in this is fairly innocent.  You're only in this to create a diversion for me.  If you're caught you can't incriminate yourself.  I don't want you to end up with another detention."

"I'll do whatever it takes to get back at that git, even if it means another night in the dungeons.  I just wish you would share the gory details with me."

She smiled fondly at the eager student.  He looked a lot like Ron and acted mostly like Harry.  "Sorry Daniel, just know that it will be my crowning achievement.  Now I have to go back to my room and check on the potion."

Hermione spent the rest of the afternoon locked in her quarters.  When the dinner hour arrived a much improved Professor Granger exited the room.  Her mass of curls was piled high on the back of her head.  A few stray wisps of hair had escaped capture and fell loose about her shoulders.  Simple, but elegant, diamond earrings adorned her earlobes while a matching diamond necklace lay gracefully on her chest.  Underneath her robes she wore a sleeveless emerald green satin dress that showed off her smooth arms and hugged her tiny form, with a short slit up the back that ended just above her knees.   To top it all off, her perfume was a light flowery scent, not heavy and overbearing as perfume can sometimes be.  She left a trail of lovesick students as she sashayed down to the Great Hall.  A testament to the fact that none of her work was in vain. Underneath her robes she clutched the potion vial tightly in her hand.  Passing by Daniel, she gave a quick wink and an ever so slight nod.  Timing was of the essence.  Moving forward – nodding to the other faculty members – sitting down at the high table next to **him** – dinner dragging on forever – waiting for Daniel, waiting, waiting – "_Yes!"_ a commotion at the Slytherin table and Daniel was the cause – all attention turning to the house table – NOW!  She quickly slipped the vial out and poured the potion into his tea.  By the time he had returned and sat down she was standing and making her goodbyes.  On the way out she nodded ever so slightly to Daniel.  

She was breathless with anticipation as she waited for him to exit the Great Hall.  He came out roughly 5 minutes later.  Hermione stood at the window of the darkened corridor staring out at the stars.  

"Good evening Professor Snape." As this had been their traditional victory cry over the past few days, he jumped nervously and spun around.  He was immediately stopped in his tracks.  The soft light of the window washed over Hermione and created an angelic aura about her.  He stood in utter confusion for a moment  "_She's beautiful._  _No, wait a minute, she's the enemy_. _What am I thinking_?"    

"Professor Granger, you are looking lovely this evening." "_What made me say that_?"  As his mind did battle with his tongue he gradually came to realize that she was one of the most beautiful creatures he had seen in some time.  

"_Yes!_" thought Hermione, "_the love potion is working. Now on to step 3 – seduction then abandonment."  _Oh this was going to be so good.  The power and control she felt was amazing.  She clearly understood why the love potion was forbidden for students.  

"Why thank you Professor Snape.  I was just noticing how beautiful the stars are tonight.  Would you care to take a night time stroll?"  Her voice was barely more than a whisper.  She blinked slowly, emphasizing her long lashes.  Her next observation of the potion victim was that his eyes were now glazed and he was entranced by her presence – typical side effects of the love potion.

"_What am I doing?_" he inwardly asked but nevertheless said "Oh yes, most definitely.  There's nothing more I'd like to do than take a stroll with you." He offered her his arm.  She pulled in close to him and accepted it.  The pulse in the crook of his arm was beating madly.  That too was on the list of side effects of the love potion.  

The waxing moon was a mere fingernail in the sky.  The night air held a slight chill and the smell of burning wood mixed with damp leaves.  They walked slowly around the grounds, his eyes fixed on her the entire time.  It was actually a bit disconcerting.  To ease the tension she began to babble.  Instead of showing disgust from her constant stream of expressions, he held onto every thought, every word that came from her mouth, his eyes never leaving this vision of beauty.  A quick burst of wind caused a shiver to roll over her and she broke her constant flow of words.  Ever attentive, he quickly placed an arm around her.  For warmth, he would tell himself later.   He pointed to a bench on the edge of the garden, keeping his ebony eyes set on her.  She sat down, made herself comfortable, and stared up at the stars and Snape continued to stare at her as he settled down beside her.  

"That bright red star is Mars.  Over there is the constellation Orion.  That's a sign that Autumn is here.  Venus is out tonight too, the planet of love." she glanced over at him

"Mmmm." He mumbled, looking directly into her eyes.

"Professor, you're not looking at the stars."

 "No, I'm looking at something much more beautiful." He whispered

"_What a dupe_. _This is going better than I would have hoped." _She inwardly giggled.

Slowly he slipped his arm around her waist.  "_Close to the kill, Hermione.  Steady, steady_" she told herself

She could feel the heat flowing off him in waves and had to admit that it felt wonderful.  "_It's taking the chill off the air_," she reasoned with herself. He brought his hand up, caressed her cheek softly, and leaned slightly towards her, his face now hovering close to hers.  She could see the fire burning in his glazed eyes and experienced a surprising pang of regret that it was only because of the potion.  It would be so easy to lose herself in his eyes.  And his lips looked so soft and inviting.  With a quick shake of her head she tore her gaze away and recovered.  "_Anyone would think I was the one who drank the potion_.   _Enough of that, its_ _time for the final stab_."

"Professor." She whispered

"Uh huh?" he slowly replied, hypnotized by her beauty, or by the potion.

"I just wanted you to know that I slipped a love potion in your tea tonight at dinner.  It should wear off in about 12 hours but I'll be leaving now.  That's Snape – 2, Granger – 2."  Grinning with triumph she slowly rose to her feet but a tug on her wrist made her glance down. 

"Professor Granger…Hermione…" He murmured "there's something you should know.  I didn't drink my tea tonight."

Hermione gasped and staggered slightly as the gravity of his statement swept over her.  He pulled her back down onto the bench.  She offered no resistance.  

"I also know what you tried to pull tonight." He chuckled softly

She looked up at him in confusion, a bit annoyed that he was laughing at her "But how?"

"As you know, I have a very tight inventory control on my storeroom.  Last night something strange happened outside my door.  I have a feeling you know all about that, don't you?" He paused and watched her cheeks stain a burning red. "Ah, I thought you did.  After the commotion I thoroughly checked the rooms and noted that several potion ingredients were missing.  When I listed them out they all added up to a love potion.  Logically it had to have been you but I couldn't be sure."

She held her head in her free hand and wallowed in self pity but continued to listen.  "When I saw you at dinner tonight looking like a stunning angel, my suspicions mounted.  So after Mr. Walsh's strange unprovoked attack on my house's table I refrained from eating or drinking anything else.  I was absolutely certain it was you when I saw you at the window outside the Great Hall, almost as if you were awaiting me." He smirked at her for a moment.

Well, so much for losing herself in his eyes.  Hermione threw up her arms in disgust and snapped at him "Well, I guess that's it then.  It's Snape - 3, Granger – 1.  Was this little show of affection tonight your payback?  I hope you enjoyed it.  You win Professor, you're the victor.  I can't compete.  Good evening Professor Snape." 

She attempted to stand but he pulled her down again. "Hermione, don't go.  I'll admit that when I figured out your plan tonight I had a strong desire to torment you.  After all, you make it so easy for me."  She flinched in anger and tried to pull away but he tightened his grip on her wrist. "Just hear me out.  It's just that I wasn't quite prepared for how beautiful you look tonight.  And you do look beautiful, Hermione." He stared at her for a moment and then continued. "Can't we forget about this little conflict we've created and just be friends?"

She sat stunned for a moment then his arms wrapped around her and again there was his eyes, those knowing eyes, still glazed over but not from the effect of any love potion.  She found herself spellbound by them.  And just when did she begin to tremble?  He brought his mouth down to her captured wrist and brushed against her pulse.  All she could think to do was stare.   Then just as quickly, his eyes lifted back to hers.   He brought his lips close to her mouth and pressed them on hers, softly at first as if waiting for her confirmation.  She desperately wanted to believe him.  She was tired of the revenge and the jokes and the teasing.  In a split second she made her decision and wound her arms around his neck.  When he deepened the kiss she felt that wonderful electric charge that only comes from a first kiss and she was lost.  The war was over.  The only coherent thought in her mind was that she hoped he was sincere.  But as the seconds passed and their lips remained locked together in a deepening heat she knew she need not worry.  This was no trick, no Slytherin jab to get back at her.  The slate was wiped clean.  They broke apart and she breathlessly gasped "I surrender".  Quickly he pulled her back into his arms to finalize the terms of the treaty.   

**A/N:**   I want to thank all my reviewers again.  You guys are great!  Please keep reviewing.  I value your opinions so much.  I have to admit that I was very insecure when I first posted this but you all have made me feel like its OK.   I've been having so much fun writing this story and I hope you all have been having just as much fun reading it.  

To Aries:  I LOVED your idea about the robes.  Unfortunately I had already written chapter 3.  But if I hadn't I would have definitely used that angle.  It would have been Lockhart's robes though knowing how much Snape loathed him.  Thanks for suggesting it.  


	5. Life in Peacetime

Disclaimer:  Same as in Chapter 1

CHAPTER 4 – Life in Peacetime

A soft knock at the door snapped her back into the present.  Lavender Brown slipped the door open and walked in.  "Hermione, I'm so sorry I'm late.  If we start now I'll still have time to get you made up before the ceremony."  She took a long approving look at Hermione and sighed, "Your dress is beautiful!  Let's put a drape over you so we don't get makeup on it, OK."

"Lavender, I don't want to hurt your feelings but please don't make me look like a whore."

"You and I both know that you rarely wear makeup so anything I do, no matter how light, will unfortunately make you look like a whore." she giggled

Hermione shot her a hurt glance.  "Oh Hermione, I'm only kidding.  Now just relax.  I'm going to make you look beautiful.  Severus won't be able to keep his hands off of you."

"I don't need makeup for that." she grinned suggestively.  Lavender shook her head in wonder and grabbed the foundation.  Hermione closed her eyes while Lavender worked her makeup magic and her thoughts again drifted back to that wonderful night almost 2 years ago.  

                                                                                           ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

They sat on the bench in a close embrace, their senses honed to each other, their lips still joined together, tongues melding in a dance of desire.  He pulled her onto his lap and before she knew it, she was straddling his hips, arms still wound tightly around his neck, his tightly embracing her waist.  

"Sheesh, will you two get a room already." muttered John Saunders, a 5th year Ravenclaw.  He was approaching them quickly, holding the hand of Meg Monahan from Hufflepuff.  

Hermione jumped up and quickly turned her back on the approaching students to adjust her clothes, then swept around to face them.  

The two students paled as they realized that the hormonal lovers were actually their professors and not just any professor at that, but the much feared potions teacher.

"10 points from Ravenclaw, Mr. Saunders, for being out after curfew.  And 10 points from Hufflepuff, Ms. Monahan, for the same reason." Hermione spat at them.  Snape looked fairly impressed at how easily Hermione took away points.  "As far as your little remark, Mr. Saunders, I was merely assisting Professor Snape.  He had a foreign object in his eye and I was attempting to remove it." She mustered an innocent look.

"It was your tongue in his eye." John mumbled quietly.

Snape drew himself up to his full menacing height.  "What was that comment Mr. Saunders?"

"Uh, I said if it stung it's a sty.  In your eye, sir, it must be a sty."

"Mmm, that's what I thought you said." He warned, "I wasn't aware that you were a mediwizard."

"Yes sir, I mean no sir I'm not a mediwizard."

"Now I suggest that you and Miss Monahan return to your respective houses before we're forced to take more points or award you both with a detention."

"Yes sir." They replied in unison and quickly made their exit.

When they were safely out of sight Hermione fell against Snape and burst into laughter.  He allowed himself a slight smile then drew her up against him and nestled his face into her neck.  "Now isn't this much better than revenge?  Hermione, perhaps we should take their advice.  Come back to my room with me." He pleaded softly in her ear.

She stared intently at him for a minute but didn't answer.  Instead, she smiled, grabbed his hand, and pulled him towards the castle.  The trip took much longer than it should have, a consequence of stopping every few feet to engage in passionate exchanges.  Not wanting to be caught together just yet, Hermione entered the castle first.  When she was sure the hall was deserted, she cracked the door open and waved him inside.  Quickly, they rushed down towards the dungeons. He had her hand and was pulling her along the corridor.  

"Severus, Hermione, good evening to you both."  A set of blue eyes twinkled at them from the dark. 

He quickly dropped Hermione's hand and gave the headmaster an evil stare.  "Albus, how did I know that you would coincidentally be strolling the halls right as we were walking by?  Especially considering that you rarely make an appearance at night."

"Well, never mind Severus.  I see that you two have worked out your, _ahem_, differences."

Snape rolled his eyes and glared at him and Hermione simply averted her eyes.

After a small awkward silence he sneered "Was there something else you wanted, Albus?"

"No, no, of course not.  Enjoy your evening children."  He grinned knowingly at them and then swept off. 

"Honestly, some times I just want to strangle him.  He always seems to pop up in just the right place at the just the wrong time.  I've dealt with this for over 20 years.  You'd think I'd be used to it by now." A vein in is neck began to twitch.

"Severus?"

"Is the man a mind reader?  How can he plan it so precisely?  I think he had something to do with our truce?  Yes, definitely, he had something to do with it.  After all, he loves to meddle in my affairs." 

"Severus?" she put her hand over his mouth. 

He glanced down at her, immediately realizing that during his long tirade, he had almost forgotten her presence.  One look at her and the encounter with the headmaster was ancient history.

"I'm sorry, Hermione.  Come on.   We're almost there."

They walked up to his room and Hermione unconsciously uttered the passwords to unlock the wards.  Snape was dumbstruck but not as much as she was.  All Hermione could offer was a sheepish smile when he asked how she knew his passwords.  Quickly she created a diversion by grabbing his neck, dragging him into the room and placing a searing kiss on his mouth.  They remained adhered to each other for several minutes.  Breaking apart she took her robe off revealing the satin green dress underneath.  He took in a sharp breath, bewitched by the sight of her.  "Hermione, that dress is lovely.  You're lovely." He grabbed her and pulled her back to him.

"Severus?….Stop a minute.….Severus?….Ohhhh!" she moaned. "Severus?….Ohhhh! A little to the left…..No, Severus, stop!  I want to talk to you."

He looked slightly annoyed but ended his explorations and stared at her.

"Severus, I don't feel quite comfortable with this.  I mean, 2 hours ago I was your foe.  Now I'm standing in your bedroom with your tongue down my throat and your hands groping me.  We need to take this slow.  Would you be terribly upset if we just spent the night talking and getting to know each other?"

"Hermione" he groaned in frustration.  Then reason took back over and he said "I'm not going to lie to you.  I'm a man and as such, I have a natural desire to ravage your body.  However, I'm also a gentleman and I'll yield to whatever it is that makes you happy." Then he whispered in a low tone that she could barely make out "but I don't have to like it." 

She smiled and immediately relaxed.  "I'd think I'd like to sit on the floor in front of the fire and just talk.  First things first though, this dress is very restrictive.  I may be able to get down on the floor but I won't be able to get back up.  Do you have something I can change into?"

"Oh, I'm sorry.  The house elves took all my skirts and dresses to be cleaned." He quipped with his silk threaded voice

She shot him an amused look. "You don't have to be so sarcastic. Do you have a bathrobe or a shirt?"

"I don't use bathrobes and my shirt wouldn't fit you." He grinned with deceptive innocence.

"Honestly Severus, you know very well what I mean.  That is unless you'd like me to walk all the way back to Gryffindor tower to get changed."

Quickly he answered "No, no, I'll get you one of my shirts."

She changed in the bathroom and when he caught first site of her in his shirt he thought he would explode.  "_I have to behave myself."_ He grimaced over and over again.

He doused all the candles leaving the fire as the only light.  It cast a soft comforting glow over the room.  He took off his robes, leaving him in a white shirt and pants then sunk down on the floor beside her with his back against the couch.  He straddled his legs and pulled her in between them with her back resting on his chest then he wrapped his arms around her. 

"Mmmm, this is nice." She said and leaned her head back against his shoulder.  And he had to admit that she was right.  It was wonderful.

Feeling much more comfortable both mentally and physically, Hermione began to talk.  They spent the next several hours discussing, and conferring, and reasoning, and deliberating, and arguing until Hermione gave a muffled yawn.  "Severus, tell me a little bit about your childhood."

"Why on earth would you want to know about that?" he demanded

"I need something to put me to sleep" she spat sarcastically.  She was definitely not the same know-it-all that he had taught for seven years and he much preferred her as a little spitfire. "I just want to know."

"Very well then."  and he began.  He droned on for several minutes relaying the details of his early life.  When her breathing took on a steady even rhythm, he knew she had fallen asleep.  Carefully he picked up his wand and whispered "Mobilicorpus" then moved her to the bed.  He lay her on her side then snuggled up beside her throwing an arm around her.  "Accio quilt" he gently grabbed the blanket as it flew to him and settled it over them.  He drifted off to sleep sandwiched against her soft body and smelling the fresh flower scent of her perfume.  

                                                                                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Hermione awoke with a start.  Confusion rushed through her as she tried to determine where she was and exactly who had their arm draped over her.  Slowly, delicious memories of the previous night returned to her.  She stirred slightly.  

A sleepy, but still biting, voice greeted her "Good morning, Professor Granger."

She smiled and returned the greeting. "Good morning Professor Snape."

"Well, should we draw up sides again and restart the battle?"

"Not on your life, Severus."

"Good" his voice was still drowsy.  He hugged her to him and they lay together for several minutes reveling in the sensation.

She pushed his arm off and gave him a light kiss. "I'm going to go wash my face."

"Mm hm" he mumbled and rolled over.  Floating in and out of conscionsness, he lay in bed listening to the sound of the running water and Hermione softly humming to herself.

"HERMIONE!" he gasped shooting straight up in bed "NO, DON'T USE THE…."

A startled "Oof" from the bathroom and then silence.

"towel" he finished.  His head dropped in his hands and he groaned.  She was not going to be happy.

Meanwhile, outside the gates to Hogwarts, Hermione stood dressed in only her panties and Snape's shirt, holding the makeshift portkey.  "Why didn't he get rid of this damn towel!" she seethed.  Slowly she made her way back to the castle.  True, he'd had less clothes on then she did when he was in this situation but he had also had the advantage of darkness.  She was faced with a bright sunny day.  This was going to get sticky.

She darted from hiding place to hiding place until she reached the castle.  Quietly she slipped open the door and walked in, trying to remain as inconspicuous as a nearly naked professor taking an early morning stroll, could be.

"Hermione!!!"

"Uh, good morning Minerva.  This is not what it looks like." Her face was crimson and burning.

"And just how does it look, my dear?" she asked in a biting tone.  "I mean, you're standing in front of me in your underwear and a man's shirt and that's just about all."

"Minerva, I can't explain now but I promise you its totally innocent.  I'll explain tonight after my last class." She rushed off towards the dungeons and was rounding the corner to the final hall when - 

"Professor Granger!?!?" she stopped abruptly, groaned and whirled around, coming face to face with a smirking John Saunders.

"I guess you and Professor Snape took my advice and got a room." He mumbled softly

"I heard that Mr. Saunders.  Your mouth is going to get you into a major spot of trouble some day.  For now, its another 10 points from Ravenclaw" she stomped off leaving him with a persecuted look about him.  

"Well you do look nice in a man's shirt, Professor."  He finally whispered.

From far down the hall she yelled "I heard that too, Mr. Saunders, and that's yet another 10 points from Ravenclaw."  

Approaching Snape's room she uttered the passwords to the door, pushed it open, and stood glaring at him, her hands on her hips, her eyes spitting fire.  

When he saw her he couldn't contain the laughter any longer. "Oh Hermione, I'm sorry.  I know I should have gotten rid of the towel.  You should see your face."

Slowly, very slowy, the anger faded and soon she dissolved into a fit of laughter.  She walked over and hugged him, leaving both of them reeling with amusement.  

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"Get rid of that towel now!"

**A/N:**  Once again, I want to thank all of my wonderful reviewers who are being so kind to me and taking away my insecurity *stands up and applauds her reviewers*.  You are all the best, each and every one of you.  Keep 'em coming guys.  I need those reviews real bad.  

Just want you all to know that I've started on the next chapter after this and I'm having a bear of a time with it.  I'll do my best but it may take a couple of days before you see the next installment.   Thanks again!


	6. Where in the World Are Severus and Hermi...

**A/N**:  Thanks again to all my wonderful reviewers.  You know who you are.  As usual, you guys are great!  

Well, here's the next chapter.  It contains the love scene and I had a hard time writing it.  I mean, a really hard time.  I suck at writing both drama and love scenes however I felt that their first time together shouldn't be humorous so I did my best to come up with a believable scene.  Don't know if I made it or not but I needed to get that out of the way so I could continue on with the rest of the story.  

Chapter 5 – Where in the World Are Severus and Hermione? 

"Class dismissed.  Everyone enjoy the weekend."  Hermione thought the hour would never end.  She had droned on mechanically for the last 30 minutes and to tell the truth, she had no idea what she had said.  Her students must have noticed that her heart wasn't quite in to teaching today but they didn't seem to mind.  Why would they when so many of them had their minds on the Hogsmeade trip.  She watched the last of the students file out, waited a respectable amount of time then jumped up and grabbed her suitcase from the closet and practically ran down to the dungeons.  Severus was taking her away this weekend on a trip to celebrate her birthday but he wouldn't tell her where.  They had been inseparable since they had made peace two weeks ago but by her own choice their relationship had been taking a slow course.  The first week she had only allowed conversation and a modicum amount of snogging, as the students liked to call it, followed by a second week of light explorations.  She was well aware that he was getting terribly frustrated but she was holding out for something special.  She wanted their first time together to be wonderful and memorable.  She had been very excited when he suggested the trip and had begged and pleaded for him to tell her their destination but all he would say was to pack warm muggle clothing.  She had to admit that it was exciting not knowing where they were going. The prospect of having the world as your playground was intoxicating.  

She stopped at his room and tucked the suitcase inside then headed back to his classroom.  The door was cracked slightly and she could hear his silky "terrible teacher" voice drifting out.  So many times as a student, that voice had terrified her.  Now she found it a bit funny and incredibly sexy.  But that didn't stop her from feeling sympathy for the students now stuck inside the room.  

"You do realize what adding the fluxweed at this point will do, don't you Miss Scott?" he jeered 

"Ye…ye…yes sir." 

"Then are you going to add it or not.  What is the hold up?  Wait, before you decide, perhaps everyone around you would care to duck first.   I, myself, would like to be a good distance from you."

Her hand shook as she held the fluxweed over her cauldron, trying to decide whether to dump or not to dump.   Snape towered over her, glaring at her.  The pressure of his little psychological game became too great and tears began to form in her eyes.   Eventually, she put the vial down and sobbed quietly into her hands.  Obviously unmoved by her emotion, Snape swept back up to the front of the class.  "10 points from Gryffindor, Miss Scott.  For the rest of you, no doubt the lack of attention today has something to do with the coming weekend.  If I ever have a display like this again several of you will be spending your Saturday and Sunday with me serving detention.  Everyone out, NOW!"

When the class had emptied out, Hermione walked in and threw her arms around him. "Lucky for them we're going on a trip this weekend or they **would** have detention.  If they only knew what a pussycat you really are."

Thoroughly disgusted by that statement he could only glare at her in annoyance, but she ignored it and acted totally unaffected.  Realizing that he was getting nowhere with his glare, and actually not wanting to, he asked "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes.  So where to now?"

"The gates of Hogwarts."

She pouted a tiny bit after realizing that her ploy to get him to reveal the destination hadn't worked.  He, in turn, ignored it and acted totally unaffected.  They made a quick stop at his room to grab their luggage and they were off.  

                                                                                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

When the world stopped spinning and she was able to see clearly again Hermione found herself in a charming small town.  It looked foreign to her, somewhere in North America she suspected.  In one direction she could see the sea and in the other, low mountains.  The weather was chilly, somewhere in the 40's she supposed, as there was no steam coming from her mouth when she breathed out.  Severus watched with fascination as her mind worked furiously to determine the location.  She finally looked up at him and said, "I think we're in Canada or the United States, possibly Alaska.  I determined that by the terrain and the weather."

He flashed an impressed look and spoke in a professor's tone.  "Very good, Professor Granger.  You're a true scholar.  To be precise, we are in Nome, Alaska above the Northwest corner of those United States.  You've guessed where we are but not why we're here."  He flashed her a devious grin.  "Come, I've made lodging arrangements for us at what the muggles call a Bed and Breakfast.  Shall we?" he offered her his arm and led her off.  

Hermione thought their room was enchanting.  Severus simply found it a bit impractical, however it did have all the elements they needed – a bed, fireplace, and bathroom.  But he was pleased, never the less, that she was happy.  

"OK, Professor Mystery, tell me how I should dress for dinner?"

"I've arranged for us to have dinner here in our room so clothes are optional." he grinned, then sobered.  "Wear something practical and warm.  I'll be taking you on a moonlight stroll this evening."

This web of secrecy was taunting her mind.  She wanted to know where they were going after dinner.  But alas, her patience kicked in to overdrive and she gave up for the time being.  

She dressed in a pair of black wool slacks and a tight red cashmere sweater.  He had pulled his silk hair back into a ponytail and thrown on black pants and a white pullover shirt.  Hermione looked at him approvingly.  She found that his hair pulled back was very arousing and the muggle clothing he donned most flattering.  At precisely 7:30pm there was a knock on the door and the owner of the B&B wheeled in a table spread with a white tablecloth, white matching linen, fine china, and gold silverware.  One single red rose sat in a vase in the middle. The china plates were filled with Beef Stroganoff and asparagus spears.  The final toping on the cake was a bottle of red wine with two crystal wine glasses.   He certainly had gone out of his way to make this a special night for her.   Hermione found herself overcome with affection for him.   

                                                                                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The remains of their dinner and the empty wine bottle were scattered across the table.  "Now are you going to tell me where you're taking me?" she asked with impatient curiosity.  He only grinned and pulled out a handkerchief.  "How would you feel about being blindfolded?" he asked.   She found the thought more than a little erotic and placing her trust in him, nodded agreeably.  

"First, put on your coat, boots, and gloves." With curiosity coursing through her, she obeyed him and bundled up in her warm outerwear.  Feeling slightly tipsy from the wine, she allowed herself to be blindfolded and led out into the cold night.  Being temporarily robbed of sight, she tried to hone in on her other senses, to pick up on the sounds and smells of the small street, to feel the air on her tongue.  Her face was growing cold, giving her the perfect opportunity to snuggle closer to Severus as he led her through the darkened streets.  If they had been back at Hogwarts they would have used a warming spell but here in the muggle world they would have to create their own heat.  At the moment, it was much preferred.   As pleasant as the walk was, it seemed to drag on forever.  She could now sense a change in the scenery.  The hard pavement gave way to a soft spongey step.  She felt the path incline upward, maybe a hill or mountain.  When they reached their destination she tugged at the blindfold but his hands slipped over hers and stopped them with a light caress. 

"Let me" he murmured.  He pulled the blindfold off and Hermione let out a gasp.  They were standing on a small mountain in complete darkness.  The lights of the tiny town twinkled below but it was nothing compared to the stars above when she looked up.  She had never seen so many stars in her life.  

"Oh Severus, it's beautiful!  What a wonderful spot." She threw her arms around him and kissed him tenderly.

"Wait, Love, the best is yet to come.  Keep your eyes to the sky."

Reluctantly she tore her eyes from him and looked up.  After a short time the night gave way to a shimmering light show filling the sky.  Colors of every hue danced and whipped across the heavens.  She watched, rapt in fascination until she could no longer control her emotions.  Tears filled her eyes, and for a moment all she could do was cry.  She recovered her voice and spoke softly "And the northern lights in the crystal nights, came forth with a mystic gleam..." she stared blankly for a second then said "That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.  I've always wanted to see the Aurora Borealis.  You did this for me?" she asked with disbelief.  He nodded and she repeated "I can't believe you did this for me?"  She wound her hands around his waist and looked up at him with love in her brown shining eyes. "Let's go back to our room," she whispered, "I want to be with you.  I want you to make love to me." 

Ever so slowly they broke apart and walked back to the tiny Bed and Breakfast, arm in arm, neither speaking a word.  Shutting the door to their room they pulled off their outer garments and boots and left them where they dropped.  He gently kissed her and drew her up to him; his arms circled around her waist and lifted her off the floor.  They stood joined together for a long while.  Unwillingly he put her down to change his hold, then scooped her up in his arms and walked to the bed, gently setting her down.  

"No," murmured Hermione, "I want to make love on the floor in front of the fireplace, like our first night."  

He stared at her for a moment then, without a word, took her arms and gently pulled her up and over to the fire.  He sat down first and reached up for her.  Without hesitation she dropped by his side and watched the glowing heat radiating from his eyes.  Hermione embraced him but he removed her arms and eased her back until she was flush with the floor then lay beside her and propped himself up on his elbow.  Gazing down at her with reverence, his hand idly traveled over her face, taking time to caress her cheek and lips.  She stared up at him for a long moment, holding him a willing captive.  "I want you" he murmured softly in her ear then traced his tongue over her earlobe and nibbled softly on it.  He left a path of soft kisses down her jaw and onto her neck.  Overwhelmed by sensation, she grabbed his head and pulled him to her mouth, opened her lips slightly and allowed him entry.  His tongue danced around her lips, then pushed into her mouth, drinking in her taste.  With a slow purposeful rhythm he explored her palate, and tongue.  That drew a moan from her that she could no longer suppress.  He caressed her cheek softly again then ever so slowly his hands moved down to her neck, and on to her shoulders.  He lightly massaged them then continued his downward progression.  She kept her wide eyes on him as he moved.  Slowly, he pulled her sweater up and, gently lifting her, slipped if over her head.  It was tossed aside.  Severus drew in a sharp breath.  She was wearing a thin black satin bra, the evidence of her arousal showing clearly through the slick fabric. When he rubbed his long fingers over the satin she let out a shiver and wrapped her arms around his waist, gently running her hands up and down his back.   His hands lingered on the satin for a few moments while he watched the reaction on her face.  Wanting to feel his skin against her, she briefly stopped him and worked on removing his shirt.  It joined her sweater across the room.  Raising her up slightly he deftly unhooked her bra and slid it off then pulled off her pants revealing the matching black satin panties.  His tongue took up where his hands had left off while his hands roamed further down.  She pulled the tie from his hair and ran her fingers through the soft luxuriance. Quickly, she grabbed his hands and paused them to allow her to undo his slacks, then pulled them off to once again join hers on the floor.  She felt the smooth fabric of his black silk boxers and the hard peak that had formed in them but he moved her hands away.

"I want this to be special for you.  Relax and let me do this," he softly pleaded.  While his tongue continued to work on her breasts his hands worked lower.  The combination was sending her into bliss.  Pleasure sensations pounded Hermione's tiny body leaving her shivering rhythmically until she thought she could take no more.  

"Severus….I…..I….." she couldn't complete her thought.  She was at a loss for words as the delicious tension welled up inside her.  Shivers continued to roll over her and gain in intensity until she arched her body up and threw her head back whimpering his name while waves of ecstasy flowed through her.  When the last spasm had abated and her breathing returned to normal she pulled him into a tight embrace.    

"That was heavenly but I want you to join me." She spoke softly and gently pushed him on his back.  Throwing a leg over him she straddled his hips, satin against silk, and rocked forward and back.  She was rewarded by his throaty groans of pleasure.   Keeping up her slow rocking rhythm she bent her head low to linger lightly on his lips then traced a trail with her tongue down his chin, and onto his neck.   She sucked delicately in spots, being sure not to leave a lasting mark.  The trail continued down to his chest.  She sucked slow circles around his nipples.  And all the while, her rhythmic movements were keeping him on the edge and he was gasping and panting and calling her name.   She flipped off of him and grasped the waistband of his boxers, pulling them off, keeping her eyes steady on his.  Then slowly she looked down and smiled.  "You're perfect," she whispered and touched him lightly with even stroking sweeps.  Again, he rewarded her with a series of growls and groans.  Satisfaction grew in her as she worked her magic and watched the blissful expression build on his face. Without a word he stopped her and removed her panties.  Turning on his side, he grabbed her and pulled her into an embrace, their legs meshing together.   Then with a swift movement he placed her on her back and settled himself in between her thighs.  She raised one leg and wrapped it around him and he slipped easily into her.  They both froze, reveling in the intensity.  After a long while he began to move.  Hermione matched him, stroke for stroke.  It was an incredible feeling.  She had only been with one other person but he had been a mere boy and that experience couldn't even begin to compare with the wonderful connection she was feeling with Severus.  The pace picked up and the heat increased.  The room was filled with gasps and moans.  And the movements were coming faster still.  All the while they stared at each other with love and desire.  She was narrowed to him and he to her.  Then she saw him throw back his head and call her name and she was pushed over the edge with him.

Afterwards they moved to the bed and lay together, his arms wrapped tightly around her while she softly caressed his chest.  She glanced at the window and noticed the first snowflakes beginning to fall lazily from the sky and smiled at the sight.  "Perfect ending to a perfect day."

                                                                                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^      

"Hermione?  Hey, Hermione?  Where are you?" 

She snapped out of her daydream and looked over at Lavender Brown.  

"I've been talking to you for the last 5 minutes and you haven't heard a word I've said.  Where's your mind?" she asked

"Oh, I'm sorry Lavender.  I was just thinking about the first trip Severus ever took me on."

"Well, I take it from the smile on your face that it was a good trip."

"Oh yes, it was the best."

"Maybe some day when we have more time you can tell me the whole sordid story." She thought about that for a minute and teasingly added, "Is this a story that I want to hear about one of my ex-teachers, especially that particular teacher?  Well, I finished your makeup.  You look ravishing if I do say so myself.  Maybe a little whorish," she joked again.

Hermione startled slightly and moved to rise towards the mirror.  Lavender put her hand on her arm and said, "I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.  It was a joke, silly.  OK, now let's put your hair up and arrange it around your veil.  We're running out of time."    

A/N:  Hermione's quote on the mountain was from Robert Service's The Ballad of the Northern Lights


	7. Let's Get This Over With

Disclaimer:  Same as chapter 1

Chapter 6 – Let's Get This Over With

"Ouch, you're pulling my hair….Ouch….Lavender, try and be more careful!"

"Don't blame me.  I can't help it if your hair is a mass of knots."  Lavender was attempting to pull the comb through while arranging her hair around the flowered halo of her veil.  "Quit yanking the comb away, Hermione!  Just hold on, I almost have it swept up."

Hermione cringed as the comb encountered tangle after tangle.  "Have you succeeded in pulling any clumps out yet!" she asked sardonically.

"Ew, you are in a foul mood.  What's the matter?  Come on, you can tell me, I'm your hair stylist and people always tell their hair stylist their problems," she giggled and continued dragging the comb through her long tresses, waiting for her to share her woes. 

"The problem is that I didn't want to have this ceremony!" she snapped

Lavender's eyes grew wide.  "Hermione, I thought you wanted to marry Severus.  You're not pregnant are you?"

Hermione fixed Lavender with a glare that would have made Severus proud.  "Honestly Lavender, you can be so dense sometimes.  I do want to marry him.  I just don't want to do it on public display.  And no, I'm not pregnant.  I'm doing this strictly for mum and dad.  I'm never going to forgive them for this.  We wanted to go to the Ministry and have a quick ceremony, no muss no fuss, just get it over with quickly, none of the traditions or festivities.  BUT NO, that wasn't good enough for my mum and dad.  I have to have a traditional ceremony with all my family and friends, THEY INSISTED.  Do you realize how much persuading it took to convince Severus to go through with this ceremony?"

"Uh, I probably do realize how much persuading it took.  Don't forget that I was one of his many terrified students for 7 years.  That reminds me, is Neville coming?" asked Lavender.

"Yes, he said he was but you should have seen his reaction when I told him who I was marrying.  I didn't think his face could get any paler than it already was.  I have my doubts that he'll actually show up though.  When I told Harry and Ron, neither of them would speak to me for a month."  Lavender placed a sympathetic hand on Hermione's shoulder and thought for a moment.  "Well consider this, if you didn't have a traditional ceremony we wouldn't have had that great bachelorette party the other night."

 "Yeah, and that's supposed to thrill me because…?"

"You know you had a good time Hermione.  You just won't admit it."

There was a knock on the door and Hermione called for them to enter.  Ginny Weasley opened the door and timidly peered around from the other side.  "Hi, we just got here.  Is it OK for me to come in?"

"Hi Gin.  Sure, join the fun and frivolity in here." Hermione said with cynicism.

Ginny shot Lavender a questioning look.  "I'll explain later," she mouthed at Ginny. 

"We were just talking about the bachelorette party the other night." Lavender was attempting to guide the conversation.

Ginny took the hint and grinned.  "Oh Hermione, you should have seen your face when the stripper arrived dressed as a librarian."

"And who invited you in here Ginny?" asked a sarcastic Hermione.

"Oh stop it.  I took pictures and if you don't cheer up, I'm not above blackmailing you. The best part is, it was a wizard camera so the pictures move." Ginny said and grinned suggestively. "Now what was the name of that book he was holding?" she asked in a mock questioning tone

Hermione mumbled something under her breath.

"What did you say?" Ginny asked innocently, not giving in to her for a moment.

"I SAID it was The Book of Love." she grimaced

"And hmmmm, I can't remember.  What was the name of the song he stripped to?" continued Ginny

Hermione looked up at her with a death glint in her eyes. 

Ginny would not be dissuaded.  "What was that Hermione?  You're mumbling again."

"The song was Love Potion No. 9.  Now will you two please drop it." She glared intensely at them.

"Oh alright, but I think he really wanted to check you out.  Get it? A librarian – check you out?" she nudged Hermione who looked up at her with deadpan eyes. "Well I had a great time.  It was fun meeting some of your muggle friends and family.  I think mum had a little too much to drink though." Ginny laughed at the memory of her mother drunk out of her mind.  "I'm trying hard not to imagine dad's reaction that night when mum told him she had sex on the beach and 5 screaming orgasms at your party."  

Hermione's stunned eyes flitted up to Ginny quickly and for the first time that day she laughed out loud.  "Oh Ginny, she did tell your dad that that was the name of the alcoholic shooters we were drinking, didn't she?"

"She must have because dad's still talking to her.  I think he even brought her a potion the next morning to cure her hangover.  But he's never going to let her live that one down. Hah, neither am I." 

Hermione really hadn't wanted to have a bachelorette party; she'd clearly been strong-armed into it.  The others just refused to let the chance of a girl's night out drop.  In the end she did manage to have a good time but she'd never admit it to them.  Well, a good time except for that annoying stripper who insisted on undulating in her face and who was wearing a gigantic library card over his…."Ugh, best not to think about that Hermione," She whispered to herself.  Just how many screaming orgasms had she had herself?  And each one had been followed by blowjobs.   Alcoholic shooters, she reminded herself with a smile.  It must have been a phenomenal amount because she had no memory of the end of the night.  Somehow after the party, in a drunken stupor, she'd managed to wander to Severus' room but she had no clue as to how.  She only knew that she woke up the next morning on his bed, fully clothed with her makeup now smeared over her face and her head pounding hard.  He silently towered over her holding another batch of the hangover potion and glared at her while she drank it.   

"What are you thinking about Herm?"  Ginny asked.  Then her eyes settled on Hermione and she cooed, "Ooooh, I just noticed how gorgeous you look." Ginny bent down and placed a quick kiss on her cheek.  "I have to get back to the hall.  I finally managed to get a date with Harry but I think your friend Sarah has designs on him so it's probably not a good idea to leave him out there all by his lonesome.  I just might have to cast the Furnunculus curse on her."

Hermione grinned at her and Ginny replied, "Kidding, I'm just kidding.  At least I got you smiling again."

Mary Granger popped the door open.  "Honey, its time to start the service.  Are you ready?"  

Hermione looked questioningly at Lavender who smiled and nodded her head.  "Take a look at yourself in the mirror.  You're a beautiful bride."  

The reflection that stared back at her from the mirror was stunning.  The bodice of her white dress was encrusted in beads and the off-the-shoulder sleeves showed off the creamy skin of her shoulders.  The halo of her veil rested on her head, her upswept hair mingling with the tiny flowers.  Lavender had done a wonderful job keeping the makeup light but complimentary.  Overwhelmed, she simply gave Lavender a light hug and looked at her mother.  "I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be.  Let go get this over with."  And she grabbed her bouquet and walked off as if she were being thrown to the lions.

Hermione felt a bit dizzy as she approached the church hall.  She quickly scanned the room and was assaulted by a mass of familiar faces, both wizard and muggle, ohing and ahing at her.  "I can't do this," she thought with a mounting fear.  For a split second she wanted to turn around and run but by now her father, who was looking slightly more sober if not green around the gills, blocked her way.  He offered her his elbow and she took his arm.   The wedding march started and her father began to lead her down the aisle, however the effects of his drinking binge hadn't fully worn off yet.  Hermione was dragged from one side of the aisle to the other as he staggered serpentine style, crashing from one row of pews to the next.  With disgust, she stopped her father, changed positions so he was now leaning on **her arm and continued the march straight down the aisle.  When they approached the front pew, Hermione roughly walked him over to her mother.  A sickening sound assaulted her ears.  He was gagging and in the next second he lurched to the side and vomited on Hermione's shoes, then fell on the bench.   As if in slow motion, Hermione looked down at her shoes, then over to her father, then back down to her shoes.  "Dad!" she whined.**

"Oh, I feel much better now," sighed her father.  

"I'm **SO glad dad," she said, acid dripping from her voice.  **

The hall was quiet, too quiet.  All eyes were on her.  She sighed heavily and kicked off her shoes then snatched up her bouquet and flounced over to the altar.  She glanced quickly at Severus, which helped to lighten her mood.  She thought he had never seemed more handsome than right at this very moment.  He glanced at her in awe then leaned over and whispered "The wedding night!"  She smiled and relaxing slightly, thought that maybe, just maybe things would start looking up.  But the trouble was not quite over yet.  The moment the rector began to speak, a flash of lightening tore through the sky followed by a loud crack of thunder and the electricity cut off.   She wondered if it was an omen and jokingly made a mental note to confer with Sybil Trelawny when she got back to Hogwarts.  Her mother jumped up and quickly arranged for some candles, which shed a soft glow over the church.  Used to candlelight, the wizarding guests seemed to relax however the rest of the guests stayed a bit nervous and edgy. 

"Just start the ceremony!" Hermione snapped at the rector. 

"This has got to be the strangest wedding I've ever presided over," he muttered.

"That doesn't surprise me one bit," sighed Hermione

"Friends, family, we are gathered here today…." he began.

The ceremony was long and drawn out.  "He certainly is impressed with himself.  What an old windbag!" thought Hermione.  While she half listened to the sermon her mind wandered to more pleasant memories.  She thought about her friends and loved ones who had come here today to help them celebrate and her mother and father who really did mean well, even if they were meddling in her life.  She thought about Severus and how much she loved him.  It touched her that he was willing to submit to this circus show in order to be with her for the rest of his life.  And suddenly in that moment, her mood did a complete turnaround.  She was overcome with love, not just for Severus but also for her parents and all the guests in attendance, to think that they all cared that much for her.  The muscles in Hermione's face relaxed and she took on a shining new light as they exchanged their vows.  The ceremony was coming to an end and the rector obligingly asked, "If anyone has just cause why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold your peace."

From behind her, Hermione heard Molly and Arthur Weasley angrily whisper in unison, "Oh no you don't."  She glanced behind her and briefly saw Molly holding Fred down, her hand over his mouth and Arthur had ahold of George.  "Hah, foiled by your parents," she thought with triumph.  

"I now pronounce you husband and wife.  You may kiss the bride."

**A/N:  **Well, how am I doing guys.  If you liked it, please take the time to drop me a review.  I live for the reviews.  As usual, my undying thanks to all who have already commented especially those that have been with me through the whole story, you know who you are and so do I!   


	8. Who Knew It Could Happen to Luggage?

Disclaimer:  Same as previous chapters.

Chapter 7 – Who Knew It Could Happen To Luggage?

The reception rushed by in a blur with Hermione running interference throughout, beginning with Harry who walked up hesitantly and gave her a hug and a kiss.  He regarded Snape for a minute with dread, not wanting to greet him yet feeling compelled to.  Severus gave him an easy out. With acid dripping from his voice he glared at Harry and said, "Potter."  Harry in turn glared back and spit out "Snape."  They stared menacingly at each other until Hermione grabbed Harry's elbow and steered him away.  Poor Neville wouldn't come anywhere near them.  He kept trying to catch Hermione by herself but Severus stuck to her like glue.  She had the distinct impression that he was doing this on purpose just to taunt Neville. The pictures took up a fair chunk of time, too.   Aside from the fact that there had to be two sets of photos taken, one Muggle and one wizard, they had a hard time getting Severus to smile, and it didn't help that he kept muttering insults to the photographer in his low silk voice.  The photographer, none other than Colin Creevey of Colin Creevey Photography Inc, was very unnerved which, in turn, caused his camera to shake, resulting in multiple retakes of the same shots.  It was a vicious cycle.  Again, it took Hermione's intervention before they were able to complete the session.  All in all it was a difficult time for her. But now, with the wedding and reception out of the way they both seemed much more relaxed and looking forward to their honeymoon.  They had decided on Nome, Alaska again, since it held such a wonderful memory for them.  After a brief goodbye to her parents they came upstairs to her old bedroom to change, and decided to Apparate from there.  

She slinked up to him and pressed her body against him.  "Severus, do you know what I'd like to do?" she whispered seductively.

"No, but I would love to find out!" he purred and circled his arms around her waist.

She clasped her hands behind his neck, looked directly into his dark eyes and said, "Before I tell you, promise me you won't say no immediately.  I just want you to think about it first."

His suspicion was raised immediately.  He didn't like the sound of that; she must be trying to hoodwink him.  After so many years as a Death Eater and subsequently a spy, he had developed a keen sense of danger, however none of his experience gained from that awful period of his life had prepared him for what she was about to ask.  With growing irritation he said, "I promise, now tell me what it is." 

She blew out a puff of air and thought to herself "OK, here goes."

"I've always had a fantasy to make love while I Apparate," she grinned at him.

He startled for a minute then turned to look at her with raised eyebrows.  His astonished expression reminded her of a deer in headlights.  After a long pause he said, "Hermione, logistically I'm not sure we can manage that.  Think about it.  We each have to carry a suitcase and Apparating is difficult enough but we're Apparating between continents." His tone changed to a low rumble, "And just how am I supposed to concentrate on Apparating while we're doing THAT?"

She pouted for a minute, gave a horribly cute look, and begged, "Please!  We're two trained, licensed wizards and that means we have double the concentration.  My suitcase is on wheels so I only have to hold the strap.  I'll just pull up my dress and slip off my undies, and you undo your pants."  Her voice had changed to a sexy low quality, which he was finding hard to resist.  She certainly had built a strong case for the defense.  "We should be able to manage if I keep one leg on the ground and wrap the other around your waist. If we Disapparate near any Muggles they'll never know what's going on."

He thought about it for a minute.  It was a very erotic thought indeed, but could they actually pull it off?  He made a spur of the moment decision and said, "Alright, we'll give it a try."

She threw her arms around his neck and excitedly said "Thank you, thank you, thank you!  I love you," and pulled him into a blazing kiss.  Cunningly, she slipped her hand over his pants and squeezed lightly.  A smile crept over her lips.  He was definitely ready, willing, and oh so able. 

"Oh Professor, is that a wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

In a low voice he responded, "I assure you that my wand is not nearly as long or as thick around."  She giggled and squeezed again.  He let out a low growl in response to her touch while one of his hands gravitated to her breast and the other hand took a leisurely trip down to play between her legs.  He found he didn't have to work very hard, as the thought of fulfilling her long time fantasy had already left her fully aroused.   She responded to him with an intense cry of pleasure.   

"Now….please….now," she pleaded into her husband's neck.  

"Patience, my dear," he softly lectured.  Getting down on his knees, he pulled up her dress then grabbed the elastic band of her panties with his teeth and pulled them down and off her legs.  He kissed a slow wet trail back up her calf, and onto her thighs.  His head lingered for several minutes between her thighs while her moans mounted and grew. "You're killing me," she gasped.  Taking pity on her he started his trail back up to her stomach only to have her plead emphatically, "Kill me, kill me!" He indulged her.

Now standing again he pulled her up to him, his hands continuing to wander about.  She reached out and undid his pants then plunged her hand in and freed him, rubbing him slowly and rhythmically.  Taking an unhurried trip, her mouth headed down, stopping at several spots along the way to linger at her new husband's pleasure points.  When she reached the final destination he could barely contain himself.  She pulled him into her warm wet mouth and gave a series of even, sucking strokes coupled with caresses by her tongue.

Breathless with desire, he gasped "Hermione, if you want to fulfill your fantasy you'd be wise to stop now." 

With satisfaction, she abandoned her position and slowly returned to his mouth.   She positioned one of her legs against his outer thigh, while lifting the other one and snaking it around his waist.  He grabbed her leg and thrust into her with a quick movement and immediately began to drive in and out.  Hermione gasped at the feeling, and threw her arms around his neck.  This was working out exactly as she had always imagined it would.    

With the pace rapidly increasing, he urgently panted, "Grab your suitcase."  His breathing was heavy and he could barely grunt out the words but was it from arousal or physical exertion, she wondered.  As they popped out of sight she groaned, "Oh yes! This is incredible."

They Apparated onto a small side street in Nome, AK around dusk, lost in waves of passion. Their suitcases were carelessly cast aside and left unnoticed.  Hermione moaned louder with each thrust until at last she reached her summit and screamed in ecstasy.  Watching the face of his new wife and hearing her cries was all it took for him to reach his own peak.  Several minutes later, breathing heavily, they glanced around the deserted street with a tiny bit of guilt.  

"That was fabulous." She muttered in his ear.  Slowly she removed her leg from around his waist and they adjusted their clothing.  Severus let out a startled grunt.  Hermione immediately looked up at him and followed his eyes around.  She nearly screamed in horror.  They had made it through the Apparation just fine but apparently their luggage had splinched.  

"I didn't know that could happen to inanimate objects," he said in disbelief.  

Hermione muffled a sob.  Gulping down pockets of air, she stood there with an astonished expression plastered on her face.  One half of her suitcase was lying on the empty street, with a trail of her incomplete clothes on public display for the world to see; half of a red silk teddy lying here, the crotch of her black lace underwear lying there, an elegant silk nightgown with hunks missing throughout.  A sickening smell of mixed fruit rose from the suitcase and permeated the air.  Hermione reached in and pulled out 3 bottles, two of them had splinched and were now mixing together to create a putrid odor.  She looked at the bottles in confusion.  "Severus, did you pack these?"

He shook his head.  Hermione glanced back down at the bottles and read aloud from the label, "Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Body Paint; Passion Peach flavor; edible body paint distributed exclusively by Weasley's Wizard Wheezes." 

Disgust crept over their faces as they muttered together "Fred and George Weasley."

"When did they slip those into my suitcase," she seethed.

"Probably the same time that they stole your wand."

"Oh no!"  A horrible thought abruptly dawned on Hermione. "We have to get rid of these NOW before the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad arrives.  They're always dispatched when there's been a splinching.  I would die of embarrassment if they found these."

"Er, Hermione, don't throw away the bottle that didn't splinch.  Maybe we can make use of it later," he said suggestively and flashed her one of his looks.  

"But Severus, knowing Fred and George this is more than just body paint.  It probably engorges everything it touches like their Ton Tongue Toffee."

He just raised his eyebrows at her for a moment until realization dawned on her face. 

"Oh, I see," she said knowingly.  "Well, I've always liked the taste of peaches," and she tucked the bottle into her pocket. 

The air was filled with a series of pops as the four squad members Apparated before them.  

"Oh, hello Professor Snape, Hermione." It was Penelope Clearwater-Weasley, head of the AMRS.  "You two certainly are a fair distance from home." She glanced around at the mess on the sidewalk, "Had us a little accident then, did we?"  

Severus opened his mouth to respond but judging by the look on his face, Hermione was sure it would be acerbic.  She gave him a quick shake of her head to cut him off.  No sense in angering the squad.   

"It was only the luggage, huh?  Wow, that's very rare.  Most of the time its body parts that are affected and it's usually caused by inexperience.  But when inanimate objects splinch, well that's a totally different story all together.  It's usually caused by a lack of concentration on the wizard's part." She ended her long explanation.  "Say, you two just got married today didn't you?  Congratulations." She looked up at them, insight slowly dawning on her face.  "Oh, I see.  Uh, well, let's get this mess taken care of quickly then."

The squad went to work, throwing them side glances and muffling their laughs. It took relatively little time to right the accident but to Hermione it was an eternity as she endured their amused snickers and smirks.  Finally her suitcase was whole again with all the unmentionables tucked safely back inside.  

"We're just about finished up here.  I'm afraid we're going to have to fine you for this though.  However, if you think it's unjust you can bring the case before the ministry," Penelope grinned.  He abruptly snatched the copy of the fine out of her hand and gave her an evil stare. 

Rapidly, Hermione said, "No, no, I don't think we'll pursue this.  We'll just pay the fine." 

"Well, congratulations again you two.  Have an enjoyable honeymoon." The air was filled with pops as the squad members, grinning slyly at them, Apparated out of sight.

She stood there in stunned silence and all Severus could say was,  "That was most distasteful." 

                                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The room was as charming as she had remembered.  It had the same bed with the same emerald colored comforter, and the same lovely fireplace that held a special place in her heart.  She glanced around losing herself in the memories associated with this wonderful room located in this magnificent town.

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.  "Are you hungry?" he asked.

She smiled and embraced his hands.  "No, not a bit.  At least not for dinner."

"Funny, I was thinking the same thing." He turned her around and hugged her to him tightly.

"What do you have on your mind, Professor Snape?"

"Only thoughts of you, Professor Granger, only thoughts of you."

"Why don't you light the fire and I'll be right back," she whispered, moving towards the bathroom.  His eyes followed her until she was well hidden behind the door. 

He sat on the floor by the fire waiting for her to finish.  He couldn't believe that this woman, this glorious creature, wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.  When in his miserable life had he ever felt such bliss?  Overcome with love for her, he stared into the fire and wondered why he deserved this much happiness.  

The door to the bathroom cracked open and she walked out.  When he caught sight of her he was speechless.  "Hermione, what are you wearing?" 

She was dressed in a long flannel nightgown with long sleeves and a high collar that buttoned up to her chin.  It was flowing and wide and gave no hint of her gorgeous figure underneath. "Don't you like it, my darling?" she said playfully, her voice dripping with humor. "It's so cold here I thought it might keep me warm," 

"No, to tell you the truth, I don't like it.  I think I can manage to keep you warm."  He grabbed for his wand and murmured "Accio button." The first button flew off the nightgown, showing the alabaster skin of her neck.  It landed in his outstretched hand and keeping his eyes fixed on hers, he slowly opened his fist; the button fell to the floor with a loud clink.   She giggled slightly.  "Accio button," the second button was ripped from the gown revealing her sharp collarbone.  It too was dropped to the floor.  "Accio button," and the third button popped off exposing just a glimpse of red silk underneath.

"Oh Hermione, do you have any idea what this is doing to me?" he growled with impatience  "Accio nightgown."  The air was filled with a loud ripping noise as the flannel nightgown split in two and flew to him.  He dropped it to the ground.  Hermione stood dressed in a red silk teddy with her hands clasped behind her back, her right leg slightly forward.  Her face had an endearing shy quality about it, framed by her hair, which hung loose about her shoulders.  The roaring fire created dancing shadows around her.   

Never breaking his eye contact for one moment, he put down his wand, stretched out his hand to her and called out "Accio Hermione."

She giggled again, slowly walked over and accepted his hand.  He pulled her down and embraced her.  "You're beautiful.  I love you Hermione."  She hugged him tightly and they sat for a long while just holding one another and staring into the fire.    

They spent the next 4 days relaxing and enjoying themselves, two former enemies who began their strange relationship taunting and tormenting each other without mercy.  The difference in two years was like night and day.  First they had loathed one another, and then when they had allowed themselves too, they had fallen in love.  

                                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

A tired, but very happy couple, appeared out of nowhere at the gates of the school.   Arm in arm, they took a leisurely walk towards the castle.  Nearing the doors, he paused briefly and glanced behind his shoulder, asking, "Would you like to or shall I?"

She laughed and said,  "Why don't you?   As much as I'd like to, it is your turn."

"Very well then," he exclaimed then turned to speak into the night air, "Mr. Saunders, that's 10 points from Ravenclaw for being out at night and 5 points for trying to hide in the rosebush.  And the same from Hufflepuff Ms. Monahan for the same reasons."

With contentment, they turned around and headed back up the castle steps.

-Fin- 

**A/N: **First I'd like to thank Gina for being my beta reader.  Thanks Gina!  Next I'd like to thank all my wonderful reviewers.  I've said it before but I'll say it again, I had so much fun writing this story and I'm glad you all enjoyed it.  Thanks for letting me know!

 ****


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